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Contents |
LAUGH AND LIVE
CHAPTER XVII
ASSUMING RESPONSIBILITIES
Those who fear to assume responsibility neces-
sarily take orders from others. The punishment
fits the crime perfectly and being self-inflicted
there is no injustice. It is true that many men
possessed of great brain power play "second fid-
dle" to shallow-minded men of inferior wisdom
from sheer lack of forcefulness on their own part.
They lack the full quality of leadership while
possessing all save one essential—courage. Fear
abides in their hearts and spreads itself as a
mantle of gloom over their super-sensitive souls
until finally they struggle no more. Henceforth
they are doomed and become the subject of apol-
ogy on the part of friends and relations. "He's
all right," they say, "but he suffers from over-
refinement. He lacks something—we cannot
make out just what. It is altogether too bad
for he is such a superior man among his social [141]
equals.
We must take our hats off to those who have
the goodness of heart to make allowance for
our shortcomings. A disinterested listener, how-
ever, is seldom taken into camp by such well
intended argument. He knows that "friend hus-
band" or "friend brother" as the case may be,
needs some sort of swift kick that will stir his
combativeness into action—that will cause him to
turn upon his mental inferior and have it out
with him then and there—once and for all. As
a courage builder fighting for justice is not to
be sneezed at.
Courage can be built up just the same as any
other soul quality. It is all a matter of early
training as to which we start out with—courage
or fear. Unthinking parents have a lot to do
with the propagation of fear in the hearts of
children. A neglectful father plus a fear-strick-
en mother constitute the most logical forces
which tend toward the overdevelopment of fear
in a child. Once the seed is thoroughly implanted
the growth can be depended upon. How to get [142]
rid of it later is not so easy to figure out. Had
the child been born with a "clubfoot" these same
parents would have spent their last dollar in an
effort to straighten it into natural condition.
They could see the unshapely foot day by day
with their own eyes—and so could their neigh-
bors. But the fear-warped little brain struggling
for courage with which to combat its weakness
needs must battle alone with chances largely
against it.
The mere thought of what is in store for this
little one as it stumbles along from one period
to another, fearful of this, and fearful of that,
is disconcerting to say the least. We can almost
trace our friend "Second Fiddle" directly back
to such a childhood. We can almost hear his
fond mother shout, "Keep away from the brook,
darling, you might get your feet wet and catch
your death of a cold." Another well known and
highly respected admonition belonging to child-
hood's hour is, "Come in, deary, it's getting dark
—Bogie man will get you if you don't watch [143]
out."
Some years later when little son runs breath-
less into the home portal after being chased from
school by some "turrible" boys we can hear this
same little mother as she storms about the place
and tells what "papa must do" about the matter.
According to her notion, if teachers could not
control the "criminal element" among their pu-
pils then it was high time for the police to step
in. Never a word about little son taking his own
part! Father listens in silence and half formu-
lates the notion of going direct to the parents and
laying down the law, while little son listens in
fear and trembling in anticipation of what is com-
ing to him if father carries out his threat.
Tall oaks from little acorns grow—if the twig
is not bent in the sprouting.
Little son is bound to grow into manhood
some day and when he arrives he must have one
particular attribute—courage. Somehow he will
get along if he has that. He may also wear a
"clubfoot" or a "hunch back," but with courage
as a running mate he will assume his responsi- [144]
bilities and become a force in the world.
Once a great orator sat upon a rostrum listen-
ing to a speech by a man who cautioned his coun-
trymen against taking steps to defend the na-
tional honor. "We'll outlive the taunts of those
who would drag us into war!" he bellowed forth.
Whereupon the orator jumped to his feet and
with clarion voice shouted, "God hates a cow-
ard!" and then sat down again.
Dazed at first the vast throng sat stupefied—
but only for a moment. Then as one man they
jumped to their feet and by reason of prolonged
cheering gave national impulse to a thought
which has since been sermonized from thousands
of pulpits. The orator had simply paraphrased
and put "pep" into the old Biblical slogan: "The
Lord helps those who help themselves." The
effect was electrical. The whole country rallied
to the idea with the result that we saved ourselves
from war by showing the solid front of being
ready and willing to defend ourselves.
Everything that tends to build up courage is
an asset in life. The more we have of it the fur- [145]
ther we go and the more interesting our lives be-
come. For the man of the lion heart all things
unfold and unto him the timid must bring their
offerings. No one of ordinary gumption con-
sults the human "flivver." Advice from him
would be unavailing. His point of view would
be inadequate—his ability to advise, impotent.
We go to the man who does things and say to
him: "Here is my little idea—do you want to
help me put it over?" If it is good, he does. If
not, his experience tells him so, for men of cour-
age are naturally possessed of large vision. Their
lack of fear has given them right-of-way over
vast areas of the world of action. They fail only
as "their lights go out forever."
With courage we order our own lives and take
orders only from those of superior wisdom. This
we can never afford not to do. The courageous
man of largest vision commands by his power to
reason logically and therefore assumes the air
of comradeship rather than "overseer" or "boss."
Only through lack of moral and physical cour- [146]
age are we to become the slaves of these.
Courage—the child of Hope—the despair of
Failure. Born of Good Cheer it links its fate
with the higher attributes and tramples under
foot the fears which spring up before it. When
sown early into the hearts of the young its com-
panionship becomes unerring in its efficiency
for good throughout their lives.
CHAPTER XVIII
WEDLOCK IN TIME
It is a happy idea to marry while we are young
—a fine thing—a good thing—a pleasant duty
indeed to marry the woman of our choice at a
time of life when both are at an age when adjust-
ment is natural and lasting loyalties are im-
planted in our hearts and minds for all time. We
make a sad mistake when we postpone so im-
portant a step just for the sake of becoming a
rich man first so that our bride-to-be may step
into luxurious quarters and never have to lift her
dainty hands except to sip from the glass of nec-
tar we have set before her. The real facts com-
piled by the statistical "System Sams" are
against this idea. The balance comes up in red
ink on the wrong side of the ledger.
According to these gentlemen the average mor-
tal is likely to be very fat and much over forty
before he can make an offering according to his [148]
first generous impulses and the chances are he
will never reach the goal in this life. By the time
he might be financially ready there is a hard glint
in his eye, and he will be looking for the mote
in the eye of his lady love. The waiting game
is a hard one and it makes us worldly. After the
lapse of years what once seemed a rose might
appear to be more of a hollyhock.
Naturally we never blame ourselves for the
changes. Had we obeyed the grand impulse in
the hour of our youth we might have kept the
garden full of roses and the hollyhocks would
never have sprouted there. Then the home nest
would have tinged our sensibilities with its love-
liness and our affections would have been nailed
down hard and fast forever and a day.
Among the many baffling problems which the
young man faces, and for that matter, any man,
is marriage. More thought, more energy and
more time is taken up over this one decisive step
than over any other. The reasons are obvious.
It involves for life the happiness of the contract-
ing parties—not only in a direct and personal [149]
way, but also in a general sense. The man's busi-
ness success largely depends upon the helpmate
he has in his home. His career is at her mercy.
For example, if the wife should turn out to be
unsympathetic, and uninterested in his ambitions,
this fact might warp his prospects by causing
him to lose heart in facing the large problems
awaiting him along the road of opportunity.
However, if she is of a cheerful, energetic dis-
position and willing to do all that she can to help
him over the rough spots as they travel along
together he will be inspired into action and will
do his level best. He will be conscious as he goes
about his work that there is one person above all
upon whom he can depend—his wife.
Marriage is a serious business and usually we
concede that point in the beginning. However,
this is not aimed as a blow at life's greatest ro-
mance . . . it is merely the recognition of an
elemental fact . . . . Marriage must have its
practical side. To become successful in the high-
est degree man and wife must establish a com-
radeship. It is not the part of wisdom that either [150]
should rule the other, but rather that each should
have the interest of the other at heart and should
strive to be helpful one unto the other. Two men
can go through life the best of friends, each hold-
ing the respect and confidence of the other. So
can two women. Then, why not a man and
wife? Needless to say they can, and do. Such
partnerships are sure of success. It is only
through lack of comradeship that love flies out
of the window—and lights on a sea-going aero-
plane.
The marriage state is a long contract—it
should not be stumbled into by man or woman.
Nor should we become cowardly to the point of
backing out of it altogether. Love is blind only
to the blind. Either party to the tie that binds
has a chance to know in advance whether the ven-
ture is safe and sane. All a man has to consider
after he knows his own heart is that the woman
of his choice is sensible, considerate and healthy.
Other things being equal he can take the leap
without hesitancy. We shouldn't borrow trouble.
Of course there are those who should never [151]
marry. They do, however, and when they do
they loan themselves to the mockery of the mar-
riage state. There is no time to dwell on this
thought for it is just something that goes on hap-
pening anyway and has no bearing upon the
advisability of "wedlock in time" between people
of horse sense.
Given a good wife, after his own heart, no
manly man has a righteous kick coming against
the fates. Under such circumstances if things
go wrong he will find the fault within himself.
Of course we should, to the fullest possible ex-
tent, be prepared for marriage before assum-
ing its responsibilities. We should at least have
a ticket before embarking—and it is the real
man's duty to provide the ticket. Since it is to
be a long voyage a "round trip" isn't necessary.
In other words, a man needn't be rich when he
marries—but he should not be broke, either. Lack
of funds a few days after the honeymoon is too
hard a test for matrimony to bear nobly. It is
too much like inviting a catastrophe through lack
of good, hard sense to begin with. It shows poor [152]
generalship at the very start—and there is the
liability of causing great distress and hardship to
a tender-hearted little woman. It would be a sad
blow to her to find that the man of her choice
was, after all, just an ordinary fellow—a man
without foresight.
There are four seasons in married life—spring,
summer, fall and winter, and we are going to
need a comrade as we go through each of them.
And the one we want is the one we start with—
the gentle partner in all our joys and sorrows.
It is she who will stand back of us when all others
fail. When the children come along to bless our
days and inspire us to greater efforts we are glad
to look into their happy, smiling faces and find
that they resemble their mother—their soft
cheeks are like hers, their hands, their dainty
ways, their caresses. And when mama looks into
those same bright eyes they make her think of
their daddy. The fond affection bestowed upon
the children by both parents is but another mode
of expressing their regard for each other.
Springtime days, these! When little tots [153]
climb up and entwine their arms about our necks.
If this were married life's only compensation it
would not prove in vain—for when the babies en-
ter the home the tie that binds becomes hard and
fast—if the man is a manly man. To become the
father of a bright-eyed babe is an experience of
the highest importance to a young man getting
started. It reinforces his courage, doubles up
his ambitions and puts him on his metal. He has
a new responsibility and it adds to his strength
of character to assume it in all its phases. An-
other thing it brings comfort and joy to the
mother during the long days while her man is out
in the fray. It drives ennui out of the household
throughout our springtime days.
And when summer comes along new hopes
dawn within us. Springtime had found us up
and doing and when it merged into the new sea-
son we found our aspirations even stronger than
before. Children must be educated and their
futures prepared in advance as far as may be.
They must not go into the world without tools to
work with. Meanwhile the household teems with [154]
plans and becomes a veritable dreamland of
youthful fervor. We find that having helped our
children into attractive personalities they have
become magnets with which to draw about us
their comrades. Thus we hold on to our youth
by virtue of our surroundings—creatures of our
thoughtfulness concerning "wedlock in time."
That the fall season is coming has no terrors
for us. There will be the weddings and plan-
nings for new homes close by—if we have our
say. And in due course, the grandchildren will
come who will favor grandpa and grandma and
once again youth knocks at our door. There will
be no dread winter days for us for we have been
forehanded—we have a new crew on board to
chase away the cares of old age and infirmities.
Try how we will there is no way to forestall the
operation of the law of compensation. We reap
as we sow. The world will be good to those who
compel its respect by becoming the right sort of
citizens. Wedlock in time—that's the answer!
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