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Contents |
LAUGH AND LIVE
CHAPTER IX
CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS
Consideration for others is man's noblest atti-
tude toward his fellow man. For every seed of
human kindness he plants, a flower blooms in the
garden of his own heart. In him who gives in
such a way there is no hypocritical feeling of
charity bestowed. His very act disarms the
thought. It is as natural for an honorable man
to show consideration to others as it is for him
to eat and sleep. Acts of kindness are the out-
ward manifestations of gentle breeding—a refine-
ment of character in the highest sense of the
word.
What would we do in this world without the
helping hand, the friendly word of cheer, the
thought that others shared our losses and cheered
our victories? If consideration for our feelings
and thoughts did not exist on this earth we would [76]
never know the depths of the love of our
friends. There would be no such thing as an
earthly reward of merit. We know that no
matter what happens to us in the battle of life
there will be someone to cheer us on our way.
We may be strong and thoroughly able to rely
upon ourselves but there comes a time when we
need friendship and sympathy. Society would
crumble into dust without these influences. The
family circle would degenerate into a hollow
mockery if consideration each for the other was
absent. It sweetens and makes wholesome what
otherwise might only be an existence of monot-
onous toil.
Consideration for others is the milk of human
kindness. For what we do for others our recom-
pense is in the act itself . . . we should claim no
other reward. Observation brings to view that
they who give in real charity cloak their acts from
the eyes of all save the recipient. Givers of this
type rise to the supreme heights of greatness. It
is a part of their wisdom to know what is best
to be done and they go about it as a pleasure [77]
as well as a duty.
Consideration for others pays big dividends.
It is a virtue that makes for strong friendships
and true affections. Those who possess it have
a hard time hiding their light under a bushel. In
teaching fortitude to others they partake of the
same knowledge. In the hours of their own
affliction they retain their courage and keep their
minds unsoured. They are the sure-enough
good fellows" of life and their presence is the
signal for instantaneous good cheer. We all
know them by their gentle knock at the door.
In a thousand ways they impress themselves upon
our lives, have entered into our councils, have
given us the right advice at the right time—and
when the sad day comes along their strong shoul-
ders are there for us to lean upon.
Consideration for others is apt to be an inherent
quality, but like everything else it can be accentu-
ated or modified according to our own determina-
tion. It is a growth that should be inculcated
early in the lives of children—the earlier the bet-
ter. A child's most impressionable age is said [78]
to be between its fourth and fifth years. Then
is the time to teach it the little niceties of life—
the closing of a door softly—tip-toeing quietly
that mother may not be awakened from her
nap—tidiness—cleanliness—good morals—all of
which are to become vital factors in a life of con-
sideration for others.
A great many of us have the desire to be of
service to others but timidity holds us back. Say,
for instance, one might see a person in great dis-
tress and because of diffidence withhold the prof-
fered hand—someone we've known who comes to
the point of penury but has too much pride to
ask assistance—we pass by fearful that we might
offend. How many times has this happened to
us? Who knows but the best friend we have
at this very moment would give anything in the
world if his pride would let him bridge that dis-
tance between us.
Nevertheless the desire to do the right thing
was in itself helpful. The thought of doing
something for someone was a correct impulse and
should have been carried into action. Early in [79]
life we should have started our foundation for
doing things in the cause of others. Putting off
the time when we shall begin to obey our higher
impulses toward helpfulness to our fellows is but
a reaction in our own characters which dulls de-
termination. We want to do but we don't. As
time goes on we just don't—that's all. Our good
intentions have gone to pave the bottomless pits
containing our unfulfilled heart promptings. We
meant well—but we failed to act—we didn't have
the courage. Our failures spread a gloom before
us. We lost our chances for a happy life!
The man with the ability to laugh has little
diffidence about these matters. Having confi-
dence in himself and being happy and alert he
goes to the friend in need with courage and the
kind of help that helps. If he doesn't do it di-
rectly he finds a way to reach him through mutual
friends. He does not go about parading his
kindness, either. He has gained a sincere and
beautiful pleasure out of aiding an old friend and
he can go on his way rejoicing that life is worth
living when he has lived up to its higher ideals. [80]
Consideration for others does not necessarily
involve only the big things. It is the sum and
total of numberless acts and thoughts that make
for friendships and kindliness. People who are
thoughtful surely brighten the world. They are
ever ready to do some little thing at the correct
moment and after a time we begin to realize how
much their presence means to us. We may not
notice them the first time, or the third, or the
fifth, but after a while we become conscious of
their persistence and we esteem them accordingly.
Such men are the products of clean, straightfor-
ward lives. They are never too busy to exchange
a pleasant word. They do not flame into anger
on a pretext. Their code of existence is well
ordered and filled to the brim with lots to do and
lots to think about. The old saying: "If you
want anything go to a busy man," applies to them
in this regard. The busier men are the more time
they seem to have for kindliness.
Another word for consideration is service.
Nothing brings a greater self-reward than a serv-
ice done in an hour of need, or a favor granted [81]
during a day's grind. The generous man who
climbs to the top of the ladder helps many others
on their way. The more he does for someone
else the more he does for himself. The stronger
he becomes—the greater his influence in his com-
munity. Doing things for others may not bring
in bankable dividends but it does bring in hap-
piness. Such actions scorn a higher reward. We
have only to tryout the plan to learn the truth
for ourselves. A good place to begin is at home.
Then, the office, or wherever life leads us. And
in doing these things we will laugh as we go
along—we will laugh and get the most out of
living.
Our little day-by-day kindnesses when added
together constitute in time a huge asset on the
right side of our ledger of life. We should start
the day with something that helps another get
through his day . . . even if it isn't any more
than a smile and a wave of the hand. And he
will remember us for it.
It is said that advice is cheap and for that
reason is given freely. But the proper kind of [82]
advice is about as rare as the proverbial hen's
tooth. In order to give real advice we must un-
derstand the man who asks for it. If what we
say to him is to become of value we must see to
it that his mind is put in proper shape to receive
advice. Be sure that he laughs, or smiles at least,
before we seriously take up his case. And when
we have done our stunt in the way of advice let's
send him away with a fine good humor. A
friendly pat on the back as he goes out our door-
way may mean a bracer to his determination.
"You'll put it over," we shout after him—and
thus we have been of real help. He needed sym-
pathy and courage. He needed a cheerful spirit
—so came to us and we didn't let him go away
until we gave him all these. Bully for us!
Consideration for others does not admit of os-
tentation and hypocrisy. We never allow our
left hand to know what our right hand does in
charity, nor do we boast of our helpful attitude
toward our fellow men. It is well to make a
point of this fact—in this world are many "ne'er-
do-wells" who fail to profit by advice and thereby [83]
become professional in the seeking of favors.
Consideration owes them nothing and to with-
stand their persistent appeals would in time dull
our natural tendencies toward helping others.
The world helps those who help themselves.
We have little admiration for the man who is
forever whining. Society has no work for such
people as these. When we have exhausted every
means of helping such a man we must in self-
defense pass him up before he contaminates our
sense of justice. We must keep our visions clear.
Consideration for others is a prime refinement
of character. To be able to use it in our daily
lives becomes one of our greatest consolations.
Sympathy begets affection and kindly deeds—in
a relative sense it binds together the properties
which go to make the soul within us. Brow-
beating, scolding, irascibility and the like are
microbes which react against the milk of human
kindness, to which, if we succumb, leaves us
stranded and alone amid a world of friendliness
and good fellowship.
CHAPTER X
KEEPING OURSELVES DEMOCRATIC
Big words and pomposity never were designed
for the highest types of men. Our great national
figures have almost without exception had one
quality which was a keynote to their ultimate
success—this was their simplicity. Next was
their accessibility. There are numberless big-
hearted and big-brained individuals in the world
whose duties are so manifold that in order to
accomplish what has been placed in their hands
they must be saved from interruption, but the
truly great individual is never hidden away en-
tirely from his fellow man. He never becomes
such a slave to detail that he does not find time
to fraternize with ordinary mortals. We do not
find him concealed behind impenetrable barriers,
guarded and pampered by courtiers like unto a
king on his throne—or tucked away in some dark
office. He wants to know everybody worth while [85]
and everybody worth while is welcomed by him.
He doesn't affect to know so much that he can-
not be told something new. He is not the sort
to refuse to see us at any reasonable time.
We should not confound greatness, however,
with notoriety. A man who by virtue of large
publicity has compelled public notice isn't neces-
sarily a great man no matter how hard he may
strive to make himself appear so. Especially is
this true of the man who does not make a personal
success corresponding to his advertised fame.
In time he may have the "ear-marks" of notabil-
ity but, as Lincoln said: "You can't fool all of
the people all of the time."
It is to be noted with satisfaction that the big
captains of industry keep themselves free from
petty details. "I surrounded myself with clever
men," said Andrew Carnegie in accounting for
his success and by the same token the men who
took over his great affairs and gave them larger
scope and power surrounded themselves with still
other clever men, thus reserving their judgment
and thought for the higher policies of their insti- [86]
tutions. They keep themselves in readiness for
consultation, and having men of initiative and
self-reliance underneath them, they find time to
take in hand other affairs than those of the tre-
mendous businesses they manage. Men of this
type often become prominent in public affairs
and develop into highly important citizens.
The bigger the man, the less he encumbers
himself with matters which can be delegated to
others. His desk is clear of all litter and
minutia—likewise his mind. Such men keep
their physiques and mentalities in fine working
order and are not to be goaded into ill temper.
A refinement of mind is supremely essential to
the man who desires to climb to the very top of
the ladder. He cannot afford to close his brain
to outside information. He is forced to keep it
open in order to let in continuous currents of
new thought. He doesn't want his visage to
"cream and mantle as a standing pond" as
Shakespeare aptly puts it—therefore the windows
of his thinking department are kept open for
refreshing draughts from the outside. He rea- [87]
sons that always there are new guests, new faces,
new things to talk about at the banquet board of
life.
And here is the point—if men who carry on the
great industries of the world find a way to keep
themselves democratic surely men of less impor-
tance should be able to do the same? The snob
is about as offensive a person as could be de-
scribed. He is usually a hypocrite or an igno-
ramus—sometimes both. His pomposity is nat-
urally repellent. We easily become accustomed
to dodging such characters. The detriment is
theirs—not ours. They are left by the wayside
and sooner or later wake up to the fact that they
stand alone in the world.
The world loves the man with an open mind.
This is the usual spirit of the progressive citizen.
He wants to know—and by reason of his acces-
sibility knowledge is brought to him. No one
cares to take up the task of informing the ego-
tist who already knows it all. Such is his inherent
cussedness that we would rather let him warp in
the oven of his own half-baked knowledge. Life [88]
is too short to waste our time in educating him.
"How can I see Mr. So-and-so?" says one man
to another.
"Don't try," is the answer. "He's not worth
seeing. You can't tell him anything."
And this sort of a chap misses the big oppor-
tunities just because he chooses to build up a
reputation for being exclusive. He digs himself
a hole and crawls into it and pulls the hole in after
him. We can safely imagine him treating the
members of his family as though they were serv-
ants, and his employees as though they were
slaves. He may succeed in small things but in
the big game of life we may write him down as
a failure.
If we have a big idea we take it to a big man
—the man of vision. Anything less is to putter
around aimlessly. The bigger he is, the more
democratic. He will not look for imperfections
in our personal make-up when we show him the
new process we have discovered.
To be democratic is a triumph of the soul—
tending to bring us in close touch with the throb- [89]
bing heart of humanity. There is no isolation for
those of unaffected charm and manner—no bar-
rier in the way of friendship worth having. It
is our lack of judgment if we hide ourselves so
that we cannot be approached. No matter how
high we rise, for the sake of our own brains we
must allow men of ideas to get to us. We must
not allow our minds to become stagnant. If we
fail to get into daily contact with other people,
we soon grow dull and uninteresting even to our-
selves. Great men may have no time to fritter
away but they have plenty of leisure for men
worth while—the pushers and the thinkers.
A democratic spirit does not come to the selfish
man. He is absorbed in himself and is quite a
hopeless case. He is a natural born faultfinder
and grouchy by nature. For him life holds no
joy save the one in sight. Taking the big look
at the man of this type we can only be sorry for
him because of his lack of early training. He
started off on the wrong foot and thereafter
drifted along. Seldom do we overcome the habits
with which we arrive at man's estate. Those who [90]
do are entitled to a right hand seat among the
chosen.
Being democratic is another phrase for being
human and kind. It means that we ought to be
able to see behind every face and find the truth of
that individual's existence. It means that life
is largely a matter of how we look at it and being
human is one way to get the proper slant at
things.
The human mind has great adaptive power and
can be molded into a thousand ways of thinking.
The intelligent man, the man who has taken stock
of himself, is able to smile and extend a hearty
handclasp whether he feels tip-top or not. He
doesn't have to look glum simply because the
world hasn't thrown itself at his feet. He has
only to persevere and success will come event-
ually.
We must correct our failings as we go along
or we will slip down into the rut and stay there.
It is a simple matter to be good natured and full
of the zest of life if we poise ourselves right—
keep ourselves democratic. It is this great soul [91]
quality which brings us true friends and boosts
us into the fulfillment of our ambitions. Then
we may truly laugh and live.
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